This (not true, satirical) story was one of the top stories on Google News’s immigration results the other day:

Bush Proposes Making Illegal Immigrants ‘Guest Voters’
Would Be One-Day Citizens on November 7
Thursday, October 26, 2006, The Borowitz Report .com

In his boldest stroke to date to break the logjam over illegal immigration, President George W. Bush today proposed a “guest voter” program for illegal immigrants that would make them eligible to vote in the midterm elections on November 7.

Speaking at a press conference at the White House this morning, Mr. Bush said that his “guest voter” proposal would allow illegal immigrants to attain full citizenship status for one day only.

“Illegal immigrants are important to this country, because they do many of the things that other Americans are unwilling to do,” the president said. “Like voting.”

According to the president’s plan, undocumented immigrants would be bused to special “naturalization/voting booths” on November 7 where they could become citizens for the day simply by pulling a lever.

“Then, when their work is done, we’ll make sure they’re back on the other side of the border by November 8,” Mr. Bush said. “Everyone wins.”

But Mr. Bush’s guest voter program received mix reviews from congressional Democrats, many of whom believe that glitches in the so-called naturalization/voting booths could lead to invalid election results.

In particular, critics have complained that in an early prototype of the booth, the translation of the phrase “I want to be a U.S. citizen” appeared as “Vote for all Republican candidates with this lever.”

.

Meanwhile, back in the real world, one the main problems House Republicans have with Bush’s legalization proposals is that citizenship is forever, and they don’t think Hispanics will be pulling the Republican lever. When you consider that Robert Dornan and Brian Bilbray were both defeated by illegal Hispanic votes, you can imagine how Republican Congressman feel about the sudden appearance of new bloc of Democratic citizens in their districts.

In a year when White House blunders appear to have created a formidably lethal undertow for GOP House candidates, one might expect that the national party leadership would be extra alert for races where local circumstances have created favorable possibilities.

If the circumstances involve immigration policy, one would be dead wrong.

Democratic Congressman John Spratt’s hold on South Carolina’s 5th District has become quite anomalous in recent years. Although from a local patrician family and solicitous of business interests, Oxford-educated Spratt has moved steadily left – his ADA rating finally hit 100% in 2005. Meanwhile, his district, always pretty conservative in the old Southern style, has increasingly experienced heavy suburbanization from Charlotte, N.C. – right on the north eastern border.

Charlotte, and surrounding Mecklenburg County, is not only the stronghold of Representative Sue Myrick (ADA rating: 0%) but has also emerged as a hotbed of immigration patriotism, as exemplified by local Sheriff Jim Pendergraph. This followed a number of immigration atrocities, and caused a dramatic improvement in Congresswoman Myrick’s Immigration record from poor to excellent.

Spratt’s record is no good.

The Republicans produced a candidate willing to use the issue – see for instance U.S. House: Candidates trade barbs over immigration issue By Matt Garfield heraldonline.com 10/30/06.

The National Republican Campaign Committee’s response? As Treason Lobby organ The Charlotte Observer gleefully notes:

Last month, the National Republican Campaign Committee canceled $820,000 of the $1.3 million worth of TV advertising time it had reserved for Norman .

(Starting with hopes, ending with struggle – by Henry Eichel Sunday November 05, 2006.)

Just as in the Graf race, it is easy to see why. Absolutely the last thing RNC head Ken Mehlman and his cronies want is a handful of immigration-reform driven victories against a background of disaster. Victories like that in the ’64 Goldwater debacle gave the GOP Southern Strategy decisive momentum. The national GOP establishment would rather lose.